Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Spinster Girl: Unspun

For years I've bathed myself (facetiously) in my spinsterhood. It's been a badge of honor -- a fuck you to certain idiots I have known and dated (if only just once). Spinster Girl was born from a conversation I had with a male friend a few years ago. Probably after an impromptu date at my favorite watering hole, most definitely after a friend accused me of being "too picky" or "too reserved" or simply "too dismissive." I have no doubt that I am too many things. I'm quick to judge, not always quick to speak and certainly not quick to open up. I hid behind Spinster Girl in my late 20's and now (almost) mid-30's like I hid behind books as a child. It was easy, if not a bit lonely; but I was just fine. I was just fine, but I'm better now.

I'm saying goodbye to Spinster Girl. Without sharing too much, I've had the great fortune to spend the year with someone who makes me want to be a whole new girl (or perhaps just the same girl sans spinster). I laugh a lot more when he's around, I smile a lot, too (and often times long after he's gone). Spinster Girl and I may meet again, but I hope not for long, long time.