Here I am, the great reflector

So here we are at the end of a year, a pretty good year. I met someone with whom I thought there was great potential, but he ran away 1800 miles not long after we met. Our brief time together taught me a lot about what I'm looking for in a relationship and even more about what I'm not. He was bold enough to call me on my shit (something I admire in anyone), but what he didn't seem to realize is that my actions were largely in reaction to his own. I think we spend too much time caring about what others think. Great lovers should know that they're great lovers, just as great cooks should know they're great cooks and great friends, who are so hard to come by in this world, should know that they're the greatest. Not that I can remember what it's like to have a great lover (am I kidding? I'll never tell), but I was fortunate to have some great food this year and I continue to wonder how it is that I got so lucky to have such great friends in my life. I turned 30. I got to hold an awesome little baby when she was just hours old, her whole life ahead. I spent a beautiful night dancing in Fayetteville. I ate a lot of sushi. But this coming year, I want to be selfish. I want a boyfriend. Or at least great sex. Or maybe just sex. I want more great food, and I want more time with my friends. I want to eat less meat, and drink more wine. I want to enjoy the outdoors. I want to explore my surroundings. I want to get organized, and pay my rent on time. I want to get rid of my cable, but not until this season of nip/tuck ends and I've seen the I Love New York 2 Reunion Show. I want to get to know myself better. I want to not cringe when I look in the mirror. I want to buy my dog a pair of doggles. I want my parents to know that I love them even if they are freaks. And my sister, too. I want to find my passion and I want to get paid for it. I want to live a life fulfilled. I want to have money in my bank account the day before payday. And I want everyone I love and care about to have a happy new year.