A Little Change...

Change is inevitable and it's scary and it's what I've been craving lately. There are a lot of changes going on in my circle of friends these days -- some are going back to school, some starting families, others new jobs, houses are being bought; houses are being sold. And amidst all this change, I find myself almost at a standstill. Over Thai food a few weeks ago, I mentioned to a friend how scared I was to make a move, to make a change. She stared at me a moment and said, "Everyone is." I'd been so busy looking at my friends making their moves seem so effortless that I never thought for a moment that were scared as well. I know better than to blog about work, but let's say that I didn't go to graduate school to play girl Friday. I love my job and it presents some unique challenges, but there's little room for growth. I have the privilege of getting paid to do essentially what I went to school to learn to do and I get to develop and hone my skills under some of the most intelligent, interesting and unique people I've ever known. As far as starter jobs go, I couldn't have asked for better. So I guess I find myself in this quagmire of sorts: If I don't need a change, why should be looking for one? I cut my hair and I hate it. That wasn't the change I was looking for this time. I recently changed my diet, too and so far I like that. I've given up meat and dairy and am what I'd call an "almost vegan." After only a few days I certainly feel better and I guess time will tell if that's reflected on the scale. I spent Friday night with some newish friends. Of the nights I've spent with them, I don't know that I've ever had a bad one. Near the end of the night (for me at least), one of the women with whom I was with suggested to another that next time we not just sit there that we seek out men and make eye contact. That we meet someone new. I looked around (Sam's, naturally) and couldn't for the life of me find someone with whom I'd want to make eye contact that I didn't already know. That's the nature of a small town, I suppose. But it's not like Charleston's the size of Mayberry. And it's not like I don't have nights where I see absolutely no one I know. It's just that I don't see anyone I'd like to know. So, yeah, I'm looking for a change. A bigger one, anyway, and, maybe, in truth, I'm just too lazy to make one.

Blahg...

So I have to admit, I'm kind of proud of myself for keeping up this endeavor for over a year. I quit pretty much everything I start. Kayaking, mountain biking, piano, tap (wait, I think my parents quit that for me), rollerblading and of course all the things I never even started: skateboarding, harmonica, the "great" novel of my generation . Better writers gave it up and others whooped it up consistently. My posts have been sporadic, usually interesting to only me, but for whatever reason I've come back to do it again (and again) and for like the first time in a long time I haven't even felt like quitting. It's not a chore, it's not job, it's just retarded fun. But that said, it's just too damn hot to blog.