A Little Change...

Change is inevitable and it's scary and it's what I've been craving lately. There are a lot of changes going on in my circle of friends these days -- some are going back to school, some starting families, others new jobs, houses are being bought; houses are being sold. And amidst all this change, I find myself almost at a standstill. Over Thai food a few weeks ago, I mentioned to a friend how scared I was to make a move, to make a change. She stared at me a moment and said, "Everyone is." I'd been so busy looking at my friends making their moves seem so effortless that I never thought for a moment that were scared as well. I know better than to blog about work, but let's say that I didn't go to graduate school to play girl Friday. I love my job and it presents some unique challenges, but there's little room for growth. I have the privilege of getting paid to do essentially what I went to school to learn to do and I get to develop and hone my skills under some of the most intelligent, interesting and unique people I've ever known. As far as starter jobs go, I couldn't have asked for better. So I guess I find myself in this quagmire of sorts: If I don't need a change, why should be looking for one? I cut my hair and I hate it. That wasn't the change I was looking for this time. I recently changed my diet, too and so far I like that. I've given up meat and dairy and am what I'd call an "almost vegan." After only a few days I certainly feel better and I guess time will tell if that's reflected on the scale. I spent Friday night with some newish friends. Of the nights I've spent with them, I don't know that I've ever had a bad one. Near the end of the night (for me at least), one of the women with whom I was with suggested to another that next time we not just sit there that we seek out men and make eye contact. That we meet someone new. I looked around (Sam's, naturally) and couldn't for the life of me find someone with whom I'd want to make eye contact that I didn't already know. That's the nature of a small town, I suppose. But it's not like Charleston's the size of Mayberry. And it's not like I don't have nights where I see absolutely no one I know. It's just that I don't see anyone I'd like to know. So, yeah, I'm looking for a change. A bigger one, anyway, and, maybe, in truth, I'm just too lazy to make one.